Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Why?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is the word 'abbreviation' so long?
Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on you try first?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping trolley then apologises for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?'
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is the word 'abbreviation' so long?
Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on you try first?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping trolley then apologises for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?'
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
"Incentivise"

Under the heading "my pet hates" I should have put - people who play havoc with the English language - I especially dislike those who adopt American pronounciations, make up their own pronounciations - or in the case of Tony Blair today create new words. Usually this involves making verbs from nouns. Yes he really did say, about getting people back to work "We have to incentivise them". I wonder what his incentivisation was?
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Bishop Stephen Cottrell

Leaders from Reading Christian Network and Churches Together in Reading met together this morning to worship and pray together and hear an address by the Bishop of Reading. Stephen is best descibed as a "really nice bloke". He's a genuine all out Christian. Full of God. He spoke on the theme of "shoes" - no really. Starting with asking us to remove ours, he talked of Moses encounter with God and went on to talk about jow whenever we talk to someone about God we effectively become his spokesperson so we should consider the ground we stand n to be holy. He also spoke of God through the incarnation, walking in our shoes. There was more good stuff. Came away blessed and encouraged. Two years ago Reading faced the possibiulity of a gay, liberal Bishop. The Church held its ground and the reward - this lovely man of God who could really head up God's Church in Reading, not just the Anglicans, but earning respect from all the denominations. Great stuff. You can read about Stephen here .......
http://www.oxford.anglican.org/page/807/
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Friday, January 13, 2006
Which Church do you go to?
I had a good chat with Steve Prince of Brookside Church on Thursday. Seems I've been going there now for best part of a year if not longer! Scary how time flies. So the answer to the question "What church do you go to?" would appear for me to be "Brookside".
Thursday, January 05, 2006
That old church thing again
My Dad, bless him, ate drank and slept Salvation Army. He used to say to me as I was getting into things 'pentecostal' in my teens, "Malcolm, you make it all too complicated. The Gospel is very simple." And you know - he had a point.I started the year with a cup of coffee with a highly respected local pastor(and all round nice guy) who was interested to know what I was doing. It turned out that he was mostly concerned with the fact that I seem to not be, as such, in membership of a local church ..... although I may be .....? :)
He was very concerned with the dangers of being "outside church" ( which of course begs the question what "church" is) and the benefits of being "under authority" (hmmmm - let's not go there).
At the outset I must emphasise that I'm not out for an argument or worst still a "contradiction" (Yes you are! - No I'm not!), moreover I respect his viewpoint since it is pretty much one which I held 30 odd years before that "housechurch" thing came along. And it is in the light of the pain of that experience that I write this. But this is a Blog and since the "coffee" has troubled me now for over a week I could hardly not mention it.
Anyways, if you're reading this you've probably been there. Penny wasn't really on the radar. But hey, bearing in mind he was under the impression that I (we?) was (were) still part of the Boiler Room, there was some catching up to do.
Always interesting to converse with someone who sees church differently. Especially when that person thinks the New testament gives us a clear pattern for church structure and by implication that his church is at least working towards that. Whatever that is. Knowing his background and therefore roughly his theology of church, I cheekily asked him where the Apostles and Prophets are! We kept the exchange light and fluffy and in good heart but I inevitably came away wondering why such a busy pastor, who I hardly know or who knows me, had set aside time like that.
By the way he preaches a solid gospel of personal relationship with Jesus. Which begs the question of why once "in church" it really isn't about a personal direct relationship with Jesus. Instead we find a subtle priestly mediation theology creeps in, where you need someone through whom you hear from God. Fascinating. I did push my luck by asking if he had considered becoming a Catholic! He had the upper hand there because in fact he was brought up a Roman Catholic. :)
As we often have to remind ourselves ...... Jesus said,
"You seek the kingdom of God - I will build my church";
As we know, too often church leaders seem to want to do it the other way round.
Jesus also said,"Do not Lord it over one another as the Gentiles do"... rather .. "Love one another".
So it is that most of you who will be reading this blog are now in what I would term "network church" - i.e. you have good friends with whom you relate and whom you encourage, without "membership" or "attendance" somewhere together as a group.
Even Paul taught, "Submit yourselves therefore to one another" rather than to any line or chain of authority.
The challenge that comes back inevitably is the "neglect not the assembling of yourselves together". (Can one assemble over the Internet?)
Unlike Penny I miss "sung worship", that's the musician in me.
I would miss "teaching" if I didn't get it from other sources than a Sunday morning.
Keep on trucking.
Malc


